Surviving the Sandwich Club

Thursday 5 December 2024

By Emma Crawford | Humanist Celebrant | Humanist Uk.

Around three years ago, I knew I had to make a career change and with the help of the Centre of Learning | Mentoring Programme, I did just that. You see in my 40s, I’m part of what is sometimes referred to as the sandwich generation – ageing parents and young dependent children with me in the middle. If I must be a sandwich, I’d like to think I’m goats’ cheese with caramelised onions and beetroot between sourdough!

So, the top layer of my sandwich are my amazing mum and dad who have supported me in so many ways through my life. My dad has dementia and so along with my mum and brother I help care for him. Thankfully for now that is just making sure he isn’t on his own too long and keeping him company to let my mum get some well needed respite, but I know only too well that this horrible disease will mean that I will need to do more in the future. I also want to make the most of the time when he remembers me.

The bottom layer of my sandwich are my primary school aged twins. All I ever wanted to be was a mum and I went through a difficult time in my 30s when I couldn’t conceive naturally. I am so unbelievably grateful to be a mum, and it is important to me to be there for them as much as I can as they grow up.

And just to add a little extra seasoning to this life sandwich I have fibromyalgia. This chronic condition causes me widespread pain and lots of other annoying symptoms like muscle stiffness, fatigue, difficulty concentrating (fibro fog) and anxiety. There is no cure, but it can be managed.

All this means I need to have a job where I can have a degree of flexibility, I can work at my own pace and use my time effectively – basically to earn more doing less physical work. I wasn’t too sure where to start with any of this to be honest, so I was so grateful for the mentoring programme through the Centre of Learning. I was matched with the magnificent Aideen Duggan who set up Keenan Recruitment. We met online and she set me to work, thinking about what my transferable skills are and what I would like to do. Allowing myself the space and time to do this was so helpful. It was something that could have easily been put on the back burner but knowing that there was a date in the diary for my next meeting with Aideen meant that I had to focus on it and I’m so glad I did.

One night, aided by a glass of prosecco, I sat down and wrote my mission statement. Just like a business would do, I thought about what I want my life to be like. I then got blank pieces of paper and wrote down my ideas for my family life, my health and how to earn money to complete my mission.

I knew I wanted to do something that would help people – that’s been my thing since I started working. I also knew I wanted to have a portfolio of work and that I wanted to work for myself to have the flexibility I needed. Chatting it through with Aideen was great although having the opportunity to talk about myself and what I needed and wanted felt quite indulgent at times! Through this process I came up with a 3-year plan from 2021-2024 and I’m delighted to say that I have got to where I want to be!

So, what is that exactly? Well, I conduct non-religious weddings and funerals as a Humanist UK celebrant. I am also a trained family mediator and have a service level agreement with Family Mediation NI. Every week is different and while self-employment still makes me nervous at times, I am loving what I do and have no regrets!

I would definitely recommend the mentoring programme through the Centre of Learning to help you get to where you want to be.

Find out more about Emma on her website here.

Thursday 5 December 2024